(Readings: Corcoran, J. (2003). Clinical Applications of Evidenced-Based Family Interventions. Oxford: Oxford University Press and Johnson, C. V., Reister, A.E., Corbett, C., Buehler, A., Huffaker, L., Levich, K., & Pena, E. (1998). Group activities for children and adolescents: An activity group therapy approach. Journal of Child and Adolescent Group Therapy, 8, 2, 71-88.)
My fellow intern sent me an email asking if I’d read the assigned Johnson article, suggesting that we might discuss it and use it to improve the group we’re co-facilitating. At this point, anything to improve the group sounds like a good plan to me, and if it provides a structured opportunity to really use one of these articles, I am all the more for it.
At present, we are running a solution-focused weekly group for five 3rd grade boys. The boys were referred by each of their teachers and met with N. and I individually to establish personal goals for work during the next 6 weeks. We’re about to have our third session and are feeling a bit worse for wear. These boys are lovely and amazing, but also completely wear me out. It’s such a struggle for me to try and find a balance between the kinds of structure I employed as a teacher as compared with the shift in purpose as a school social worker. More often than not, I have to remind myself that I’m not in the classroom and that this fact gives me a lot of freedom. Old habits are hard to break, however.
Our shared concern has been how to use the group curriculum we’ve been given in a way that fits the needs of these boys. As for all groups, setting, duration, and frequency all much be considered. Right now, our timing is off. Well, my timing is off. I can’t seem to fit things in, in an authentic and organic way. I used to be much better with my time management within the context of groups. I’m also wondering if we’re really clear on the purpose, and if N. and I aren’t clear, we can’t expect the group to be. Also, as referenced by Johnson, Reister, Corbett, Buchler, Huffaker, Levich & Pena (1998), the beginning phase of group centers around a search for meaning and these boys are trying on different roles, testing us and establishing who they want to be in this group. Additionally, the relationship between group structure and ego development is a concept worth more time and thought, on my part, and I hope to further my understanding on the interplay soon.
The Corcoran (2003) article is organized in a very accessible way, and the suggested activities are very helpful. I appreciate the concreteness with which the authors are presenting their material. A central question I have when reflecting upon the group is: are we engaging these kids? Most of the activities listed in the SOS (Spell Out) book are not particularly active and for these five boys, that really doesn’t work for them, and N. and I are finding out that it doesn’t really work for us either. I’m still feeling uncertain as to whether or not this group is going to gel. Our plan for next week, however, is to move away from such direct and didactic interventions and work on an art activity, discussing social skills throughout, as they are relevant and opportunities present themselves.
Saturday, October 20
Symbolic Meanings of Toys
Airplane - escape, distance, speed, search, search, freedom, safety, protection, etc.
Animals (wild) - aggression, fear, survival, power, strength, etc.
Animals (domestic) - protection, family, reactions, relations, vulnerability, compliance, dependency, etc.
Baby Bottle - regression, nurturing, coping issues, dependency, babies, siblings, etc.
Ball - interaction, relationships, trust, competition, etc.
Binoculars - perspective, relationship (close/distance), surveillance, hunting, finding, searching, intimacy, self-examination, etc.
Blanket - regression, security, protection, boundaries, etc.
Blocks - defenses, boundaries, construction, limits, rigidity, closure, structure, protection, vulnerability, etc.
Cars - mobility, power, escape, conflict, safety, protection, travel, defenses, etc.
Chalk/Dry-Erase Board - environment, world, creation, emotional expression, contact, pressure, etc.
Clay - aggression, manipulation, creation, control, self-esteem, change, expression, contact, pressure, etc.
Costumes - relationships, communication, anonymity, fantasy, impule, disguise, etc.
Dinosaurs - past, history, death, power, extinction, fear, conflict, survival, etc.
Doctor's Kit - healing, repair, respect, power, pain, image, crisis, changing, etc.
Dolls - identity, self, regression, sibling, anatomy, competition, closeness, friendship, etc.
Dollhouse - family, family interaction/attitude, environment, security, etc.
Fingerpaints - contact, involvement, impact, etc.
Flashlight - control, secrecy, fear, searching, leadership, dependency
Games - competition, competency, structure, resistance, moral reasoning, cooperation, etc.
Grooming - self-image, self-concept, change, validation, caring, nurturing, etc.
Guns - aggression, control anger, hostility, power, death, pain, intrusion, impact, protection, boundaries, etc.
Knife - utensil, aggression, power, defense, protection, intrusion, sexual, etc.
Lights - control, power, secret, escape, hiding, denial, change, etc.
Magic Wand / Crystal Ball - fantasy, wishes, goals, desire, future, etc.
Mirror - self-image, self-concept, memories, past, change, future, etc.
Money/Poker Chips - security, power, control, loss, cheated, etc.
Monster Figure - fear, mystery, protective, secretive, conflict, perpetrator, relationship, revenge, attack, etc.
Musical Instruments - self-expression, internal, communication, creativity, contact, etc.
Paints - distance, expression, inaccessible needs, etc.
Pillow - bed, safety, territory, parent, monster, aggression, relaxation, burden, etc.
Playing Cards - money, control, power, secrets, spontaneity, etc.
Puppets - relationships, communication, anonymity, impulses, disguise, etc.
Puzzles - problem solving, decisions, completion, integration, whole picture, getting-it-together, etc.
Sand - construction, destruction, community, feelings, change, emotional world, creativity, etc.
Teddy Bear - warmth, nurturing, security, companionship, etc.
Telephone - communication, distance, safety, control, power, disconnect, etc.
Water - emotionality, flexibility, freedom, anxiety, orality, sadness, depth, internal, etc.
Adapted from V. Richards, 2007
(note: toys can be a need for or a lack of some feeling, emotional state, or competency. context is always important. nothing is black and white.)
Animals (wild) - aggression, fear, survival, power, strength, etc.
Animals (domestic) - protection, family, reactions, relations, vulnerability, compliance, dependency, etc.
Baby Bottle - regression, nurturing, coping issues, dependency, babies, siblings, etc.
Ball - interaction, relationships, trust, competition, etc.
Binoculars - perspective, relationship (close/distance), surveillance, hunting, finding, searching, intimacy, self-examination, etc.
Blanket - regression, security, protection, boundaries, etc.
Blocks - defenses, boundaries, construction, limits, rigidity, closure, structure, protection, vulnerability, etc.
Cars - mobility, power, escape, conflict, safety, protection, travel, defenses, etc.
Chalk/Dry-Erase Board - environment, world, creation, emotional expression, contact, pressure, etc.
Clay - aggression, manipulation, creation, control, self-esteem, change, expression, contact, pressure, etc.
Costumes - relationships, communication, anonymity, fantasy, impule, disguise, etc.
- Gloves - avoiding, distance, safety, etc.
- Hats - identity, roles, expectations, fantasy, power, denial
- Masks - relationships, communication, anonymity, etc.
- Sunglasses - hiding, avoiding, distance, etc.
- Wigs - relationships, communication, impulse
Dinosaurs - past, history, death, power, extinction, fear, conflict, survival, etc.
Doctor's Kit - healing, repair, respect, power, pain, image, crisis, changing, etc.
- Syringe - intrusion, violation, pain, healing, fear, impact, etc.
- Stethoscope - internal feelings, unknown, undisclosed, validation, etc.
- Thermometer - internal feelings, sick/ok-ness, need for help, crisis, etc.
- Blood Pressure - internal issues, anger, calm, state of mind, internalized feelings, etc.
- Operation - crisis, intervention, intrusion, action, risk, resolution, control, vulnerability, etc.
Dolls - identity, self, regression, sibling, anatomy, competition, closeness, friendship, etc.
Dollhouse - family, family interaction/attitude, environment, security, etc.
Fingerpaints - contact, involvement, impact, etc.
Flashlight - control, secrecy, fear, searching, leadership, dependency
Games - competition, competency, structure, resistance, moral reasoning, cooperation, etc.
Grooming - self-image, self-concept, change, validation, caring, nurturing, etc.
Guns - aggression, control anger, hostility, power, death, pain, intrusion, impact, protection, boundaries, etc.
Knife - utensil, aggression, power, defense, protection, intrusion, sexual, etc.
Lights - control, power, secret, escape, hiding, denial, change, etc.
Magic Wand / Crystal Ball - fantasy, wishes, goals, desire, future, etc.
Mirror - self-image, self-concept, memories, past, change, future, etc.
Money/Poker Chips - security, power, control, loss, cheated, etc.
Monster Figure - fear, mystery, protective, secretive, conflict, perpetrator, relationship, revenge, attack, etc.
Musical Instruments - self-expression, internal, communication, creativity, contact, etc.
Paints - distance, expression, inaccessible needs, etc.
Pillow - bed, safety, territory, parent, monster, aggression, relaxation, burden, etc.
Playing Cards - money, control, power, secrets, spontaneity, etc.
Puppets - relationships, communication, anonymity, impulses, disguise, etc.
Puzzles - problem solving, decisions, completion, integration, whole picture, getting-it-together, etc.
Sand - construction, destruction, community, feelings, change, emotional world, creativity, etc.
Teddy Bear - warmth, nurturing, security, companionship, etc.
Telephone - communication, distance, safety, control, power, disconnect, etc.
Water - emotionality, flexibility, freedom, anxiety, orality, sadness, depth, internal, etc.
Adapted from V. Richards, 2007
(note: toys can be a need for or a lack of some feeling, emotional state, or competency. context is always important. nothing is black and white.)
Reading Resources for Grief and Loss with Children
(by no means is this an exhaustive list)
Children Ages 3-8:
Brown, L. K., & Brown, M. T. (1996). When dinosaurs die a guide to understanding death. Boston: Little, Brown.
Curtis, J. L., & Cornell, L. (1998). Today I feel silly & other moods that make my day. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.
Mundy, M., & Alley, R. W. (1998). Sad isn't bad a good-grief guidebook for kids dealing with loss. St. Meinrad, IN: One Caring Place. Palmer, P., & Burke, D. O. (1994). I wish I could hold your hand- a child's guide to grief and loss. San Luis Obispo, Calif: Impact.
Silverman, J. (1999). Help me say good-bye: Activities for helping kids cope when a special person dies. Minneapolis: Fairview Press.
Teakle, H. (1993). My daddy died: Supporting young children in grief. New York: HarperCollins.
Thomas, P. (2001). I miss you. Hauppauge, NY: Barron's Educational Series, Inc. (Ages 3-6)
Viorst, J., & Blegvad, E. (1988). The tenth good thing about Barney. New York: Aladdin Books.
Winsch, J. L., & Keating, P. T. (1995). After the funeral. New York: Paulist Press.
Children Ages 9-12:
Clifton, L. (1983). Everett Anderson's good-bye. Holt, Rinehart, and Winston.
Heegaard, M. (1991). When someone has a very serious illness: Children can learn to cope with loss and change. Minneapolis: Woodland Press.
Silverman, J. (1999). Help me say good-bye: Activities for helping kids cope when a special person dies. Minneapolis: Fairview Press.
Smith, D. (1973). A taste of blueberries. Thomas Y. Crowell.
Children 13 and Older:
Agee, J. (1967). A death in the family. New York: Grosset & Dunlap.
Alcott, L. M. (2001). Little women. New York: HarperFestival.
Gootman, M. E., & Espeland, P. (2005). When a friend dies a book for teens about grieving & healing. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Pub.
Romain, T., & Verdick, E. (1999). What on earth do you do when someone dies. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit.
The Dougy Center for Grieving Children. (2004). Helping teens cope with death. Portland, OR: The Dougy Center for Grieving Children.
Recommended for all Ages:
Buscaglia, L. F. (1982). The fall of Freddie the leaf a story of life for all ages. New York, N.Y: Distributed to the trade by Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
Kroen, W. C., & Espeland, P. (1996). Helping children cope with the loss of a loved one a guide for grownups. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Pub.
Mellonie, B., & Ingpen, R. R. (1983). Lifetimes a beautiful way to explain death to children. New York: Bantam Books.
Silverstein, S. (1964). The giving tree. New York: Harper & Row.
Rylant, C. (1999). The Heavenly Village. New York: Blue Sky Press.
Children Ages 3-8:
Brown, L. K., & Brown, M. T. (1996). When dinosaurs die a guide to understanding death. Boston: Little, Brown.
Curtis, J. L., & Cornell, L. (1998). Today I feel silly & other moods that make my day. New York: HarperCollins Publishers.
Mundy, M., & Alley, R. W. (1998). Sad isn't bad a good-grief guidebook for kids dealing with loss. St. Meinrad, IN: One Caring Place. Palmer, P., & Burke, D. O. (1994). I wish I could hold your hand- a child's guide to grief and loss. San Luis Obispo, Calif: Impact.
Silverman, J. (1999). Help me say good-bye: Activities for helping kids cope when a special person dies. Minneapolis: Fairview Press.
Teakle, H. (1993). My daddy died: Supporting young children in grief. New York: HarperCollins.
Thomas, P. (2001). I miss you. Hauppauge, NY: Barron's Educational Series, Inc. (Ages 3-6)
Viorst, J., & Blegvad, E. (1988). The tenth good thing about Barney. New York: Aladdin Books.
Winsch, J. L., & Keating, P. T. (1995). After the funeral. New York: Paulist Press.
Children Ages 9-12:
Clifton, L. (1983). Everett Anderson's good-bye. Holt, Rinehart, and Winston.
Heegaard, M. (1991). When someone has a very serious illness: Children can learn to cope with loss and change. Minneapolis: Woodland Press.
Silverman, J. (1999). Help me say good-bye: Activities for helping kids cope when a special person dies. Minneapolis: Fairview Press.
Smith, D. (1973). A taste of blueberries. Thomas Y. Crowell.
Children 13 and Older:
Agee, J. (1967). A death in the family. New York: Grosset & Dunlap.
Alcott, L. M. (2001). Little women. New York: HarperFestival.
Gootman, M. E., & Espeland, P. (2005). When a friend dies a book for teens about grieving & healing. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Pub.
Romain, T., & Verdick, E. (1999). What on earth do you do when someone dies. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit.
The Dougy Center for Grieving Children. (2004). Helping teens cope with death. Portland, OR: The Dougy Center for Grieving Children.
Recommended for all Ages:
Buscaglia, L. F. (1982). The fall of Freddie the leaf a story of life for all ages. New York, N.Y: Distributed to the trade by Holt, Rinehart and Winston.
Kroen, W. C., & Espeland, P. (1996). Helping children cope with the loss of a loved one a guide for grownups. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Pub.
Mellonie, B., & Ingpen, R. R. (1983). Lifetimes a beautiful way to explain death to children. New York: Bantam Books.
Silverstein, S. (1964). The giving tree. New York: Harper & Row.
Rylant, C. (1999). The Heavenly Village. New York: Blue Sky Press.
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